I'm sad a lot lately.
Well it comes in waves, mostly after beautiful things or good moments. Happy moments where memories flood and I feel like time has ceased to move forward and we exist again in a place that is happy. But its hard to accept and know that you are the contributor of all your deepest sorrows. Have you ever felt like all you needed to make it right was unattainable? But despite that you are still hellbent on trying for it? Because giving up is admitting defeat. I pray everynight that it will all go back. I hate myself for ruining us. I don't know how I ever let myself stray that far. I just wish I would have been better. I pray every night and I swear it will be OK. Because it has to right.. I am sad a lot lately. And it's my own fault.
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