turn around and i don't know

It is such a let down when you realize that the people that you pride yourself on having around aren't there for you anymore. It was a strange thing running into you the other day. I don't know, since everything happened I feel like there is a wall built between us. But the funny thing is I felt like this was slowly coming upon us before the incident. The incident was just the final brick in the wall. You know I guess my brother always prepared me for this, for the comings and goings of friendships. How this was a part of life and maturing. People grow apart and that's a part of life. But more and more lately I feel like I keep turning around to find myself alone. I don't know where my friends are. It seems like they only wanna be around when it's of convience to them. Never here when I need you, but always here when it's good for you. Always down to party.

i try

I try to keep myself busy, I try to use up all my time so I'm not set on dwelling about how much I miss you. And I force myself to go out, so I don't allow myself to get comfortable with the idea of becoming a recluse. But at the end of the night I can't help but feel even lonelier than I was to begin with. I am so empty because regardless of what people I'm with, it will never substitute for you. I miss you. So much.

money matters

I hate fighting with you about money. I want to help and you know I will I just hate when you come at me with this sense of entitlement. I feel so disrespected. I fell like my stature as an adult is belittled and that you are trying to take advantage of me. Whether that is your intention or not I hate that. And what's worse is I always feel like shit afterwards. There really is no winning with you. I would just like you to ask. Or atleast be humble. Fuck, where money matters relationships crumble.