looking at yourself and not knowing who

There are times where I stop and I think and I see everything as a wash. And it was in one of these moments I see myself, not as I am but as I could be. And I feel it then then sting of good-bye. The person that I once aspired to be, my other self is fleeting. I don't know exactly but the only way that I can seem to understand it is that this is what the pursuit of happiness is. The combination of the right things, mixed with the combination of wrongs things which allows you to be who you are best. Sometimes you have to give up a part of yourself to gain the part that seems most appealing. It's sad you know? Your not unhappy your just sad for the chance of you that will never become any more developed than the idea it was in your head. It is hard to see yourself and to realize you are empty with the ideas you had so longed to be real and full of other things.

always wanting what you can't have

It's crazy the way relationships can spawn a new sense of temptation amongst people. Once people become emotionally unavailable or are "off" the market people seem so much more eager to get a piece. I don't know why people think I would ever sway from my love. I pity them for trying to blindly take and ruin a good thing. I guess people see things differently depending what side they are on, all I know is no matter what the circumstance I will never cross those lines. I love my baby and I'm too loyal and smart to buy into whatever web your spinnin' The fact that you stay persistant in the way you try to pursue, regardless of my feign of interest and constant pushing you away just makes me realize the lack of respect from other people. It's like you want me to fail. I've decided the only way to deal with it is to not, i'm just going to cut you out entirely because you can't just be a friend. Instead of supporting us and trying to be there for me as a friend while I am utterly alone you are trying to prey upon me in a "vulnerable" lonely state.. it doesn't matter though we're stronger than anything and we don't fall into traps.