Building up

I'm not sure if it's the heat, the lack of sleep in the past few days or what... but I'm feeling overwhelmingly emotional. I'm exhausted. Work has been draining the last few days, on both of us. But I can't help but feel like I'm pining for your attention. I'm trying my hardest to give you space to unwind, but I can't help but feel like an option as I wait for you to find time for me. All I've wanted was for us to have dinner or watch a show together. And the more I think about it, the more pathetic I feel. I just can't distinguish from my neediness or a genuine need for company. So I can't tell right now if I'm in the wrong. I feel like shit. I had to leave or burst into tears. And I know that that wouldn't help our situation at all. I'll just hold out and see if a few days and a good nights rest makes it better. I just love you so much, I don't want to think it's your intent to ignore me but I also don't want to encourage that type of behavior if so. I know that I deserve attention and affection, but it's hard right now for me. Waiting and testing what merits too much demand. I think I'm just exhausted and everything is warped in terms of perception. This blog helps. At least it helps me to mediate my thoughts on some level.