And it comes to light

It was a little over a year and a half ago now that I made the decision to change my life in such a drastic way. To venture out and act upon a decision that would change the way my life was for years. I remember the uneasiness I felt right before it  all happened and all the doubts and things that had led up to my final decision. I guess I've always been about sparing other peoples feelings, even to this day I still struggle with putting other people's needs before myself but I will admit it has become easier to become selfish. While managing the after-guilt is still a challenge. I still remember the scenarios that played over in my head about how everything would happen and it all kinda feels like some sort of sitcom or bad reality tv show that just keeps going. All the pre-rehearsed conversations that I had made up in my head did not prepare me for how it actually unfolded. I felt so heartless, but I can't deny that feeling of relief that I felt once I actual said what needed to be said. I was strong, I didn't cave or allow myself to be persuaded by empty apologies. I knew all those tricks to well because for the better part of our relationship that was all that I was ever given after every fight or mishap.