never eluded to what's really bothering you

lately i feel so tired. and i know it's not that i am exhausted physically, because i'm not. it has to do with the way i feel mentally. this is like the quiet before the storm, i mean i'm thrilled. the moment i have been waiting for is right around the corner. being reunited with my love after such a long absense is the only thing i want but i know that the wait has been excrutiatingly long and that our time together will be so brief. and i know that he will have to leave once more. i am just coping with all the saddness right now. the build that i know is going to come in floods. and i know the reason i'm doing it right now before he gets here is because i don't want to put a damper on our time because of my emotions. i know he knows i get sad but i can't let this get in the way of this precious time that we have, so i'll push it down. i am a strong girl and a good actress.