looking at yourself and not knowing who

There are times where I stop and I think and I see everything as a wash. And it was in one of these moments I see myself, not as I am but as I could be. And I feel it then then sting of good-bye. The person that I once aspired to be, my other self is fleeting. I don't know exactly but the only way that I can seem to understand it is that this is what the pursuit of happiness is. The combination of the right things, mixed with the combination of wrongs things which allows you to be who you are best. Sometimes you have to give up a part of yourself to gain the part that seems most appealing. It's sad you know? Your not unhappy your just sad for the chance of you that will never become any more developed than the idea it was in your head. It is hard to see yourself and to realize you are empty with the ideas you had so longed to be real and full of other things.